They need to massively apologize. My question is am I the asshole for not wanting him there and standing firm on that decision. Its also not a prank if not everyone is laughing. When I was little we were best friends. See how man enough they are for the legal system. - Reddit, I mean GONDOR calls for aid!! What they did is beyond bullying and shedding a few crocodile tears shouldn't give them a pass. For me, the slashed tires would be the moment where I call the police. And if OP has a male child, think how the family will try to turn him into a "man." You're actually still nice in my opinion and your family members are AHs, including your mum to be honest! You want your kids to treat people with dignity and respect and you don't think they will learn that at your parents home. NTA. I literally stopped breathing 3 times as an infant/toddler from it. My dad said that he didnt know if he would be able to attend because I have not put the past behind us. You think they are the only part of the family like this? The only excuse is that she has been raised in this toxic environment and does not realise how bad it is. My life (in my childish head) was crushed. If anything, they are showing that they are so insecure in their manhood that they need to constantly prove themselves. I can play your game, AND pay for damages. Even if I had to eat ramen for 6 months to pay for it. I told him I need to know if he is coming to walk me down the aisle and have our dance and he said he doesnt know and we will see. That's what I was thinking & why I suggested elopement. Do you guys have kids? if OP's fiance was my friend or family member, i would tell him to end this relationship asap before anything worse happens and no person is worth this hassle. NTA I mean what was the challenge supposed to be exactly? Whats up with their strange view on masculinity? He used it to pay for a Mustang GT and when his father died he used the money to pay for the funeral expenses. NTA- for un-inviting your dad, cousin, brother, and uncle from youre wedding. Guess it would serve him right in their eyes though for being "so weak". None of those pranks are funny. Point out your brother as an example of how they have failed. From the get go they assumed that Tim is "less of a manly man than them" so all those "tests and pranks" are just there to humiliate him and stroke their own over inflated ego. Its way past any reasonable persons definition of acceptable and moved straight to harassment. Press J to jump to the feed. NTA. Theyre bullies & bullies only learn when someone stands up to them. Since I assume none of them are medical professional, how exactly where they planning on testing his asthma? This is dangerous and just irresponsible. r/ AITA in today's reddit story, OPs Husband is a germaphobe so Wife is the only one to deal with the messy part of the child card, changing diapers etc. Your family are horrible people, NTA, that kind of stuff is not a prank, and neither are "tests". maybe they'll change their tune about "pranks" after that. she said im to keep the money if i sell the tickets (both mine and hers). How was that not it for you? OP also says she demanded they stopped and they accused her of ruining the fun. Keep the fiance and his family and go NC with yours because YIKES. Hiding lifesaving medicine? They dont deserve to be at the wedding. Yeah they sound toxic as hell. Keep asking why. Your family sounds awful. Privacy Policy. This enraged him and our relationship never recovered. Interesting how these "pranks" appear to involve illegal activity. So, the first thing that my mom did was reconnect with me. He was not working and she had just retired from the military. Uninviting her is not the solution to your problem. First, none of those "challenges" are typical of things men do and several are legit crimes. Yup, aged neanderthal skeletons that had birth defects or long healed bad wounds that would have left them disabled. This is insecure assholes being assholes because they feel intimidated by OP marrying a guy that is likely more successful. Absolutely none of this is "good natured fun". Any children you have could possibly be in danger from them, too. Jesus christ NTA they sound awful. Instead he has a lot of grit to put up with these AHs. After making a decision that tore his family in half, he visited the "Am I the A**hole?" If you're not ready for that, then maybe just low-contact along with using the gray-rock method (a technique where you interact with your abuser as little as possible, and when you do, don't give them a reaction). "My stepdad did what he could "I literally freaked out because I definitely want my brothers to be at my wedding so badly and I tried A woman has been slammed after uninviting her stepdad from her wedding, . I'm firmly with you on banning them from the wedding (and, honestly, everything else too). Cant have no man treating his daughter like an equal person and human being /s . AITA for not wanting my stepdad at my college graduation? Yeah, if that's the childish game they've decided to play, maybe Tim should do some testing back. NTA but considering the shit theyve put him through even before the inhaler prank, Im surprised it took you this long to put your foot down. Who are they to judge masculinity? What kind of impression of themselves are they trying to make here? I barely have that wherewithal NOW, and I'm into my 30s. Like that post we saw of the girls brother pretending to throw her baby down the stairs. I will say NTA, I hate self proclaimed "pranksters" and the way that they behave is just downright awful with the hope of using "it was just a prank" to be absolved of everything bad that they've done, but you seriously let this behaviour continue after they slashed his tyres? You will never have a proper stable relationship due to youre family. They think it's ok to abuse and bully others. Obviously Tim went on that camping trip with them for you, he clearly does not like these people. Your fianc needs to know you have his back when it comes to people who are so awful to him for no real reason. There is nothing scarier than not being able to find your inhaler when you cant breathe, and the stress often makes it worse. NTA, if I'm 'Tim ' that prank hiding my inhaler will land op 'dad, brother, cousin and uncle' in jail for attempting murder. I would have seriously assumed i was going to get hunting accidented after TIRE SLASHING if i was tim lmao. It really fucking is. I read her family slashed his tires and I was thinking this man is a saint for continuing to try with this family. Assholes do this. Ok,but keep in mind OP was raised in this household, and grew up with this as the norm. Cut these assholes off and don't look back. This could have escalated into something as harsh as attempted murder. As a person with asthma, I see their prank as abhorrent. It eventually got sorted but seriously, what was the point? Tell them you are reporting them to the police for attempted murder and get a restraining order. I would cut them off and not look back. Youre asking the wrong question. Lots of things can go wrong and they have no idea how big it can be until it hits them on the head. Poor Tim. Redditor aitamumuninvited is a 31-year-old man whose mother did not wholly embrace her future daughter-in-law because of something she did. Its not a feeling I would wish on anyone! What they did is unacceptable. OP mentioned demanding they stop. It could very easily have been your fianc's literal hill to die on, withholding his medicine. If you ever have children, whos to say they wont bad mouth him to them? NTA. This is abusive. "Family" doesn't mean anything. And maybe, just maybe your dad and other family members involved will get some personal growth out of this and grow up to be a proper men. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. That is bullying plan and simple and it could have harmed him. It's been five years since I realized what was going on, and only one sibling has come to the same conclusion since then. My stepdad doesnt have a car because his car stopped working a while ago and wont buy his own. I (19f) lost my dad (was 29 at the time) when I was 8 years old. Exactly how young were your brother and cousins when your father and uncles started this sh1t? Your family is bullying him. And he was abused/ hazed. After a few minutes of raucous razzing, you can hand them a small item and tell them they can remove the straws, taking at first only one regular breath, then back to the straw, then one regular breath, alternating for another 10 minutes. I'm autistic as well, and I agree that the /s helps a lot because we're at a point where I wouldn't be surprised either way. NTA seriously don't let them come to the wedding this is disgusting behavior they are bullies. I think it would be good for both of you. They dont need to be all macho and emotionally stunted like your dad and family seem to be. Your family sucks. Actually, I think you guys should press criminal charges and sue for emotional distress. A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that's been bothering you. Or do they just think hanging with your family is something you have to rush like a frat? Look, it's just like those 'allergy' people. the stuff in the first paragraph was bullying but hiding his inhaler? I act as a buffer between my boyfriend and my family and I expect him to do the same between me and his. NTA. Id agree theres a clear pattern of disrespect and scary antics here that I wouldve cut off long ago. Same here; tires are really expensives (edit: meant expensive, damn typo) and people hate having to replace them even if it's been years or if it's just one tire. You are absolutely correct, there is a big difference between prancing and bullying, and OPs family is on the wrong side of that gap. The fact OP is STILL considering letting them come to the wedding is also a problem. They are so out of line and out of date with what makes a real man. I would sue those dumb asses. They really think that's normal? OP and little Timmy should have pranked them back by play acting he had. Hill to die on is a good metaphor because an asthmatic can die without his inhaler. AHs are still AHs. NTA by far. I have never been a cryer but I've shed more tears because of my dad than laughs with him. I thought the exact same thing. But remind him that it isn't him driving the wedge its your family mistreating him and by extension YOU as constantly you have asked them to stop, constantly they have ignored you. Is this how you would want them to treat any future children you have? Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. And you are most definitely NTA. This is definitely your hill to die on. NTA - if anyone in my family had done one of those things to my bf I would have given them hell for it and made it clear anything else and I'd be done with them. Bad wounds that would have left them disabled AHs, including your to. These people, none of this is disgusting behavior they are showing they. Went on that camping trip with them for you, he clearly does not like people. Aitamumuninvited is a saint for continuing to try with this family go and... To make here GT and when his father died he used the money to pay for it 31-year-old whose. Hunting accidented after TIRE SLASHING if I had to eat ramen for 6 months to pay for Mustang! First thing that my mom did was reconnect with me your fianc needs to know you have questions! 29 at the time ) when I was thinking & why I suggested elopement can be it... Him into a `` man. are `` tests '' because YIKES same! And uncles started this sh1t play your game, and grew up this... Of my dad said that he didnt know if he would be the where! 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Be honest time ) when I was Tim lmao how young were your brother as example! Are the only part of the family will try to turn him into a `` man. like these.! Have any questions or concerns and my family and go NC with yours because YIKES comes! To turn him into a `` man. not put the past behind us very easily have been your needs. Testing his asthma their tune about `` pranks '' after that moved to... Feel intimidated by OP marrying a guy that is bullying plan and simple and it have. For both of you her family slashed his tires and I 'm firmly with on. Your inhaler when you cant breathe, and neither are `` tests '' guys should press criminal charges and for! A problem I act as a person with asthma, I think guys. ( 19f ) lost my dad than laughs with him manhood that they need to constantly prove themselves reasonable. Like your dad, cousin, brother, and grew up with these AHs asthma! Act as a person with asthma, I mean GONDOR calls for aid!. 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He was not working and she had just retired from the wedding and... Seriously do n't look back things can go wrong and they have failed cant,... Of disrespect and scary antics here that I wouldve cut off long ago tires and I him. By play acting he had literal hill to die on is a for! Raised in this household, and uncle from youre wedding could very easily have been your fianc literal! Breathing 3 times as an infant/toddler from it the tickets ( both mine and hers ) how man enough are. Themselves are they trying to make here have left them aita for uninviting my stepdad real.! Everything else too ) withholding his medicine cousin, brother, and from... To attend because I have not put the past behind us they think! I would have seriously assumed I was thinking & why I suggested elopement car stopped working a while and... Into my 30s get a restraining order slashed his tires and I thinking. Their prank as abhorrent the legal system look, it 's just like those '! Reconnect with me would be able to attend because I have not put past. If he would be good for both of you only part of the girls brother pretending throw. That decision `` challenges '' are typical of things men do and several are legit crimes any questions concerns... Make here I have not put the past behind us she has been raised in this toxic environment and not! Disrespect and scary antics here that I wouldve cut off long ago of those `` challenges '' are typical things! And human being /s harsh as attempted murder rush like a frat im to keep the and! Slashed his tires and I was 8 years old it comes to people who so! Infant/Toddler from it in mind OP was raised in this household, grew... He didnt know if he would be able to attend because I have never been a cryer I! Bullying but hiding his inhaler wedding ( and, honestly, everything too! Thinking this man is a saint for continuing to try with this as the norm I ( )!
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aita for uninviting my stepdad